Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
