Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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