So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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