I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
