I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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