How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
