We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
