It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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