my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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