His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i drank out of a bidet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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