Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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