if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
