i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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