There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
