is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
