So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You can't motorboat a personality
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
