Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
