Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
