she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
