elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
