all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
