I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
soo... how was my night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
