The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He kissed a someone with a penis
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
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