white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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