my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
