and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Hippo gnu deer
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
