after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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