I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
