I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So vagazzling was a success
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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