Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
COCAINE IS GR8
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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