glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
