She's JV to your varsity
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
