But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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