Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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