if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My penis needs a shock collar
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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