Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
