i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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