I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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