Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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