This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
