I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
