is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
