Banned from zoo.
Again?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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