I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
