ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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