Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
