I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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