i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
