She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
