About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You pole danced in your parka.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
