Having a random hookup so left but love u
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
